Have you tried the new hot beverage, Viagraccino?
One cup and you are up all night!

For years medical professionals have been looking after the ill, to make them better.
Now, with Viagra, they're raising the dead!

What is the difference between Niagra and Viagra? Niagra Falls.

Viagra is like Disneyland: A one-hour wait for a two-minute ride!

The Viagra computer virus turns your floppy disk into a hard drive.

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors refer to what they do as 'practice'?

Does fishing result in net profits?

Is a drunken ghost a methylated spirit?

'Vortex Bras, the largest manufacturer of bras in the world. We have a hand in nine out of ten bras in Britain.'

Barbers always seem to make cutting remarks.

Why do bees hum? Because they don't know the words.

'How dare you belch in front of my wife!' - 'Why, was it her turn?'

'My wife speaks through her nose.' - 'Why, has she worn her mouth out?'

I had to give up tap dancing because I kept falling in the sink.

'Mummy, there's a man with a bill at the door.' - 'Don't be silly, it must be a duck with a hat on.'

'Doctor, doctor, I've just swallowed a spoon!' - 'Sit down and don't stir.'

Candles make light meals.

'Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!' - 'Well, sir, it was ground only ten minutes ago.'

I eat small pieces of metal every day. It's my staple diet.

I rose early this morning. I ate some yeast last night.

'Waiter, this egg is bad!' - 'Don't blame me, I only lay the tables.'

'Did you know that deep breathing kills germs?' - 'Yes, but how do you get them to breathe deeply?'

It was the old missionary in Africa who gave the tribe of cannibals their first taste of Christianity.

A man swallowed a dud coin last night. He is expected to be charged with passing counterfeit money today.

What do you get when you drop a grand piano down a coal mine? A flat miner.

'I'm worried, doctor. I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.' - 'Stop worrying and pull yourself together.'

What is brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!

He used to go out with a girl called Ruth. Then she left him, so he became ruthless.

How do you tell the sex of a hormone? Take its genes off.